Something changed today.
You introduced me to one of your friends, whom you love and respect
I took his hand in friendship and was assaulted by visions that boarded on terror.
I could see him plowing into you, uncaring, carnal, malice
I could see a knife to my throat as he took you
I could feel you, in passion and in pain
And I could see my body broken.
I told you of this.
You laughed and told me that I was wrong
You could never be that way with this specter.
It would never happen
I tried to listen.
But still these visions haunt me.
(written almost two and a half years later)
Well my love, I should trust my instinct
He has taken you. He has pulled at your carnal self.
He has taken you. Even as he planned my destruction
He has taken you. Even when you were aware of the pains that he has brought to me.
I guess in the end, you are drawn to those that can harm.
Not those that can heal.
In the end, you would rather be fucked than loved
And you will willingly take into your body those who would destroy what you claim to love.
I gave you a gift. A gift of me, and of my family. Protection that can not be broken by any earthly or being of heaven and hell.
On Samhain night, I gave you the ability to make right what all went wrong
To change our paths from darkness to light
And you chose to take this gift and give this to him.
I should be angry, I should rage, I should feel.
But gifts are just that. You feel this malevolent servant of evil worthy of carrying with him for life a part of me. He has taken your body without care for you, he had broken me, and lay waste to all in his path. And he is able to hide this from the world. But you feel him worthy.
So I have no choice here. The only way to retrieve the piece of me is now out of reach, and he will carry this gift forever.