In the Shadows of Sir

I am a strong person.
But I am fighting memories and shadows of those who have come before me.
And I am losing that battle.

We are around our friends, and it is always “my old Sir”
And people look at me as if I have failed.
You tell me stories of this god of a man.
And I can never live up to what he gave to you.
You tell me of your service, and it is this service that I beg of you
But it is never to be mine.

I have asked only one thing of you
And after a year, that has not come to be
I refuse to ask again
I have asked, I have demanded, I have begged
But this one token, you can not give to me.

I am not your Sir and I know that I never shall be